Guidelines for being charming at a party:
1. Be interesting: Wear attractive, but interesting, clothing-something that reflects who you are. If you like travel, for example, wear a shirt, scarf, tie or jewelry from another country, or wear something that reflects your ethnic background, or a hobby (sports, the outdoors, a Hawaiian-type shirt with surfboards, gardening implements or an animal print) or a holiday pin. It will help start conversations.
2. Pay attention: Look around you, and seek to make friends. Notice who’s around you and what’s interesting or attractive about them, Find an interesting thing about what they’re wearing, and compliment it. “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing that gorgeous color — it looks great on you.” or, “What a fascinating watch! Where did you get it?”
3. Prepare in advance: Read up on some current topics to talk about-the background doings of a hit movie, some new technology advance, or a cool new trend. Then, when someone wants to talk to you, you’ll have something to say.
4. Find a way to help: What needs doing that you might enjoy? If you haven’t experienced this event before, I recommend finding a “job” to do. Don’t just say “what can I do to help?” Instead, volunteer for something specific: to greet people and take coats, or keep the food table replenished, or refill drinks. It will give you a feeling of belonging, a great excuse to meet everyone, and you’ll be busy enough to keep your nervousness at bay. The host or hostess will be grateful and remember you later.
5. Follow through: If you do meet someone you’d like to know better, follow the party with an invitation for coffee. The best friendships begin in these social situations.