February 20, 2014

I was writing on a TV show for the first couple days of this week. Every floor of the building houses a health insurance company except the floor of the show’s production office. I got onto the elevator the first morning with some guy I’d never met. He pressed the button for his floor and also, without asking, the button for my floor.

Then today, all the writers went to lunch together. We were in the elevator with a woman from upstairs. The woman said, “I wish I could wear jeans and Chuck Taylors to work.”

I have to say, it’s been a lot of fun writing for TV. But tomorrow, I go back to being the sad person on the elevator.

February 1, 2014

My current song-on-a-loop is “Alive” by together PANGEA. Their new, excellent album is called “Badillac.” They just went on the road so catch them in your town soon.

(Source: Spotify)

January 17, 2014

I just read the craziest thing ever. A former college football player was shot and claimed it was in an armed robbery attempt. He later recanted and said it was self-inflicted. Today, he admitted that it was a suicide attempt.

The gunshot wound was in his arm.

Now, I don’t want to say football players are dumb but… Actually, what very little I know about him, he seems very smart. He got a job at the state Attorney General’s office after college which sounds way better than any job I’ve ever had in the 15 years since I graduated. And I don’t mean to make light of depression… Actually, that’s a lie. My whole act is making light of depression. But that’s my own depression. I’d never make fun of somebody else’s depression

But the arm?

Story here.

January 9, 2014
The L.A. Weekly had some things to say about the first joke I wrote in 2014. Read the whole article here.

The L.A. Weekly had some things to say about the first joke I wrote in 2014. Read the whole article here.

December 25, 2013
13 reasons Santa Claus is definitely a conservative

laurengberg:

Facts are facts… 

Reason #14: Kids with rich parents get better presents.

December 15, 2013

Henry Phillips is my brother from another mother. Buy his great new album.

(Source: Spotify)

December 12, 2013

Henry Phillips is the best. Buy this shit!

November 24, 2013

I randomly saw this band Moses Campbell last week and have been listening to them on a loop ever since. Then I came across this video that some friends starred in. Cool.

November 13, 2013
Can of Squirms

In middle school, I was in a program called Gifted And Talented. Basically, you’d get to skip regular classes to do some next-level shit (mostly play games). One of the games we played was called Can of Squirms. It was this can that had a bunch of cards with different scenarios you would act out, and I guess you learned something about ethics or human behavior or something from it. One time, I played a shop owner who had just caught my friend Tracy stealing from my store. Apparently, I was an amazing actor because I made Tracy cry in front of the whole class.

And that’s why I don’t do improv.

Or talk to girls.

November 1, 2013

Boise sportscaster does his segment as Ron Burgandy.