Banking for Poor People

“You can now have your payment automatically debited from your bank account,” she offered. “No, thank you,” I replied. Did she really believe that I simply forgot I owed them money? Did she think I didn’t answer my phone until Friday because I was busy? I answered the phone on Friday, because I get paid on Fridays.

“I can waive this last late charge if you sign up for automatic payments,” the next caller offered. “No thanks,” I repeated. Is the concept of being poor so far out of these people’s range of understanding? How much are these call center people making?

“You wouldn’t get all these annoying calls if you signed up for automatic bill payment,” the last lady said. “Maybe you wouldn’t charge so much fucking interest if you didn’t call every goddamn day! You think of that? Sure, I’ll sign up for automatic payments. Does it know that Christmas is just over a month away and that should be good for about $200? Or that I have a gig in Davis that should net me about $100 after gas if I don’t drink it all? And does it know that I pay the student loans last, because they don’t charge a late fee? Does it know that I pay the cell phone bill second-to-last because they don’t charge a penalty but I can’t be more than a month late on it or they shut the phone off and there’s a penalty to get it turned back on? Does your precious bill payer know that?!?” Or rather, I said, “No thanks.”

Automatic Payments: Making Life Easier for the Rich.

Here’s your chance to see me do a longer set. It’s after the Channy Awards so I’ll probably be wearing some goofy suit and have half a buzz.